I saw you today/last night Leo, August 7, 2019. It's funny how you had the guts to come in front of my building and look so calm and beautiful. I was watching every move you made and every smile you take. The sound of your voice gave me chills running up and down my spine. I was hiding from you, I was so shy to even look at you. I gave a glimpse to see you smile one last time, oh my did that kill me inside. I realize things that night, I thought about your voice that night, the way you pronounce my name "Ella" crazy Leo, I didn't mind seeing you at the park at all today, but fuck seeing you 3 steps away from me feels like your right under my throat. I thought I was over you, I thought I already let go. I don't want to cry another tear for you Leo. I don't want to think about you anymore, the memories we made. The laugh's we take, specially the close up we had. I was proud of myself from not saying a word to you.I hope you noticed that when I walked inside the door. I was happy you were too busy talking to our friends, I love them for being there last night. I was so happy I was able to fake a smile when you said "My friend likes you Ella" I was so happy to see myself smile in front of another boy with you there. I was so happy to not meet your eyes for the very first time. I just hope I will be happy to loose my madness love for you. If I do that Leo, boy you don't know how relieve I would be. I love you with all my heart, and I know that it's going to break my heart when my mind says "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place..." It's already breaking my heart that I'm choosing to move on and forget about you. It's killing me but I think it's the only cure for my sadness... I only wished I took the very first time to tell you I loved you all along... Now I regret hiding all of this from you and feeling sorry for myself that I'm finally done.