Mrrrrrrrk Please!

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Marie-Sofie Ponce The Day I Met You
05.25.09 <3
Clémentine The Day I Met You
10.04.09 <3
Amélie Coture Ponce The Date I Met You
12.8.09 <3

“He’s just not that into me.”

August, 4th 2010 I Don't Exist No More.

I can't get you out of my mind, I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you... how good you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh... I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did... I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me... I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine... I wonder what will happen the next time we are together, I know one thing for sure, your the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. I Love You Leo Alexis Japson Rimando Awh :'( Only if you knew....

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I'm the one that fell in love, and stayed that way.

I remember that first day we met, the first time we hugged and the first time you kissed me. I remember the first time you told me that you loved me. and I remember the first time I knew I wasn't ever getting over you.

I saw you today/last night Leo, August 7, 2019. It's funny how you had the guts to come in front of my building and look so calm and beautiful. I was watching every move you made and every smile you take. The sound of your voice gave me chills running up and down my spine. I was hiding from you, I was so shy to even look at you. I gave a glimpse to see you smile one last time, oh my did that kill me inside. I realize things that night, I thought about your voice that night, the way you pronounce my name "Ella" crazy Leo, I didn't mind seeing you at the park at all today, but fuck seeing you 3 steps away from me feels like your right under my throat. I thought I was over you, I thought I already let go. I don't want to cry another tear for you Leo. I don't want to think about you anymore, the memories we made. The laugh's we take, specially the close up we had. I was proud of myself from not saying a word to you.I hope you noticed that when I walked inside the door. I was happy you were too busy talking to our friends, I love them for being there last night. I was so happy I was able to fake a smile when you said "My friend likes you Ella" I was so happy to see myself smile in front of another boy with you there. I was so happy to not meet your eyes for the very first time. I just hope I will be happy to loose my madness love for you. If I do that Leo, boy you don't know how relieve I would be. I love you with all my heart, and I know that it's going to break my heart when my mind says "When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place..." It's already breaking my heart that I'm choosing to move on and forget about you. It's killing me but I think it's the only cure for my sadness... I only wished I took the very first time to tell you I loved you all along... Now I regret hiding all of this from you and feeling sorry for myself that I'm finally done.

You made a mistake , you came into my life. You became really important to me, and I was for you too. But you had to end this. You had to end everything for that stupid reason didn't you realise that I care about you more than anybody else. And I dont want to loose you, even if it's happening. Even if i'm not in your life anymore, I can't stand losing you .

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#Posté le dimanche 08 août 2010 14:47

Modifié le lundi 03 octobre 2011 01:09

He's just not that into me.

You know how it is when you don't want to miss them, but you want them to miss you? Well, that's how I feel every second we're not talking. That's how I feel even when we are talking.

August 1st. I missed 3 blogs this month, sucks but here we are. Look I don't know if it's me that's putting pressure in to my life or you, running around and escaping from the world is my job and it will be for the rest of my life. I've tried to live my life to the fullest, I've tried everything to forget about you. There's things in life that shouldn't be talked about, specially when your with the boy you like. There's always going to be that silence between us, and there's always that sentences that slips out from the person who you thought was the one but sadly tore you apart. August 1st, I was at the park with my best friend and her boy friend. Hey look my phone vibrated and it showed 1 Message, guess who? Leo, yeap Leo. He was annoying me again like always, I was so happy to see his texts. But the fun doesn't end there, I called him. I asked him where he was, he said his heading to the park were I was at to play basketball. Things went on then woohoo he arrived.. Gosh his so beautiful, I don't know what definition of beautiful but wow he was so beautiful. He saw my best friend and her boy friend, I was at the top railing of the slide, he was screaming Kiss Kiss, I was just smiling, he looked at me and I smiled at him. Then my best friends boy friend said go up there with Ella. Hmm that's when my whole day came crashing down... He replied walked away and said "I Can Do Better Than Her' God did that stabbed me in the heart bad. Really Leo? that's one thing you don't say to a girl when she's madly heels over head for you. I started to think and analyzed your words. Dude! after all the things we went through, after all the shit you put me through, the tears the late night chat and wow the kissings on the lips! all you say is I CAN DO BETTER THAN HER? Thanks for that, thanks for being so cool and calm with your words. Thanks so much for making me fall in love with you when I was ready to give up and lastly thank you very much for using me.. I don't know if that's the word and I don't know if that's what you did but to me it's seems like you just used me... Well guess what? if you really can do better than me. I'm happy you already said that, I'm just going to walk away like nothing happen and will stay the way it was before. Not knowing you or even met you... Thanks for breaking my heart again... Next time when you say things like that, specially when you say it was a joke... Please realize that people take that to the heart. Specially me.

I've never really been in this situation before. I never thought I would be. So, if I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing.. Please don't hate me. I don't know how to make you happy. I can try my hardest, but I can't really do what you want unless you tell me exactly what it is that you want.

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#Posté le mercredi 04 août 2010 11:12

Modifié le mercredi 04 août 2010 11:25

Im dancing with tears in my eyes, just fighting to get through the night. I'm losing it with every move I die.

Don't worry, he'll miss you. You're the best he could get, and he blew it. Don't let him make you think for one second that this was your fault. It's not. He screwed up, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You gave him your heart, and you trusted him to keep it and protect it, but he couldn't. And honestly, he's not mature enough. He's not smart enough. If he was smart, he would have cared for you with every fiber of his being and been with you every spare second he could. But he didn't, and now he's gone. But don't you cry. Don't call him telling him you miss him. Don't IM him, don't message him, don't comment him, don't talk to him in the hallways. Just pretend you don't care. And don't be surprised when he comes crawling back saying he made a mistake. And if you want to go, go with him again. But make him work for you. Don't be his doormat. Don't let him in the first time he rings the bell. Make him come back every day until you trust him enough. If he doesn't come back after a couple of tries, just let him go. But if he comes back every day, then he's worth it. Trust me .. he's worth it.

It's so hard to even read this, knowing that this will never happen to me. I know every hanging around and waiting is worth it but would you prove this to me when you find out that I love you like that..? it's a killer to be loving you like this, it's almost August. When the 7th of August comes, your girlfriend is back to your arms and Me? I will go back to my old life, going to surrender everything just to get a word out of you. Just waiting. Dreaming that someday what were doing now is going to go back... I'm so much happier when your girl is not around, I'm so much happier when your attention is all mine, but it has to break and it wont go on for long. I hope you wont stop texting me when she comes back, I hope you still reply to my text's and I hope I'm still going to be your last good night when you go to bed and your first good morning. I'm going to be sad I know so... I will miss having your full attention Leo... I'm still going to hold on to you, I'm going to finish what I started and I wont let anything get in the way of my waiting for you... When your off in your life being happy that your girlfriend is back, i'll stay here smiling for you even though deep down I'm about to burst into tears and flood everyone with it. I'm going to pretend I'm okay in the trouble of avoiding the silence again..

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#Posté le mercredi 28 juillet 2010 18:14

Modifié le mardi 03 août 2010 14:20

Why does it hurt so much to care for someone that doesn't even notice how you feel about them? Love hurts.

There is that one person who fills your mind at night, who is there, the last thing that fades from the edges of your consciousness as you drift off into peaceful slumber. When you wake up, that person's face rises to the surface of your thoughts like the golden sun rises outside your window. You lay there piled high with cozy blankets, your eyes closed but your mind awake, and that someone's name, drifting through your mind, is a cue for an unseen puppet-master, who, with invisible threads, pulls the corners of your mouth into the most content of smiles. And that smile stays there, making you ever-warmer, far longer than any other waking thought would cause it to stay. And that, perhaps, (if I'm not very much mistaken) is love.

♥[✖]♥

Do you see what I do everyday? I think about you everyday, I constantly write about you on my blog. I wish about you every 11:11 of the morning and night. I don't know what to do anymore.. Do you see how much I care for you? do you see how much I wish I was the one you chosed instead of her.. I miss everything, our past, our laugh's, everything we used to have. It annoys me how much of a loser I am to be having this much hope when for all I know you will never realize things that I hope you will. It annoys me how we both can talk to each other on the phone, hours and hours of texting, making jokes and all that but when we see each other in person it's like a bomb just landed on our grounds and the two of us is pin to the ground to avoid going near each other. Leo I want you to know that when I say I worry about and I care about you, I want you to know that even and if we don't talk to each other for the rest of our lives. I will constantly ask someone just to make sure your okay and your still breathing. I would go lengths and thousands of miles just to make sure your still okay. That's how much I love you and how much I care. Not even words can explain how much I want to tell you my feelings. No words can explain how much it hurts to have you standing right next to me, knowing your not mine and someone else is holding your heart.. I just wish that in the very first day of our meets I've gotten to move out of my cocoon so I wont be feeling this hurt. I miss our past Leo, I miss having to write you stupid little letters when you constantly complain about me writing while we both have Facebook and other sites to chat to, but still you take the time to write this on a piece of paper and pass it on to me. Just so you know Leo, I think about you everyday...

I miss those midnight conversations. I miss how you would make me laugh out of my own frustration. But you just come to know that you get so used to being loved, and in one second it can all come crashing down. Now I know to not let anything get that far ever again, because I didn't know how I could wake up one morning and have it all hit me. I didn't know I could miss you this much.

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#Posté le mardi 27 juillet 2010 15:06

Mrrrrrrrk Please!

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I'm the one that fell in love, and stayed that way.

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He's just not that into me.

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Im dancing with tears in my eyes, just fighting to get through the night. I'm losing it with every move I die.

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Why does it hurt so much to care for someone that doesn't even notice how you feel about them? Love hurts.

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